Oscar Quest Review: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Sigh.
I wanted to like it. I wanted to be able to say that I was blown away...that the George Lucas I remember from my childhood had returned with a satisfying story about the creation of one of the greatest villians. Ever. I wanted to be able to tell everyone that the naysayers (myself included) were wrong and Georgie boy pullled it off at the last second. I wanted it to be good, dammit, to be worthy of carrying the title Star Wars
Now I'm just glad Lucas can't hurt me anymore.
The plot I'm sure you already know. With the Republic at war with the Separatist movement, Anakin Skywalker, now a full-fledged Jedi Knight, finds himself turning towards the Dark Side of the Force under the influence of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, thus becoming Darth Vader. You would think that with George Lucas saying for nearly 30 years that he had the whole story mapped out that the plot wouldn't be so disjointed. You would be wrong. The parts dealing with the war, with various Jedis fighting on various planets, are drawn out I susupect so Industrial Light and Magic can show off their CGI skills. But the parts dealing with Anakins descent are rushed, and his reasons for turning are forced, to say the least. The acting is again atrocious, except for Ewan MacGregor as Obi-Wan who clearly needs better material. The dialogue, painful. But since those flaws were present in the first two, it really isn't a surprise in the third one. The special effects are extraordinary again, at least from a technical standpoint. But what Lucas hasn't figured out is that special effects alone do not give life to a movie. Every ship, every planet, every alien being, everything is so pristine that it all becomes cold and flat.
But let's be real. For fans, the important thing about this movie is whether it answers the questions we all have. So let's explore those answers (SPOILER WARNING)
Anakin's descent The major question driving the prequels- how did Anakin become Darth Vader? Well, according to Lucas, he did it all for love. After having visions of Padme dying in childbirth, Anakin starts going down the path to the Dark Side so that he can learn the Sith ways of controlling life and death. Thrown in there for extra measure are Anakin's annoyance with the Jedi council for allowing him to sit on the council (at Palplatine's order) but not granting him the rank of Master. So is that a satisfying answer to the Vader question? Well, yes and no. I would be willing to believe that Anakin's descent was based on a fear of losing Padme if I believed the love story to begin with. Lucas clearly wants us to think that Anakin and Padme are one of the great tragic love stories of the ages, but Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman have zero chemistry and Lucas writes such wooden dialogue, that it's hard to buy their love would lead him to slaughter Jedis (and Jedi younglings- one of the only emotional scenes in the movie). The whole thing has roughly the same weight as Anakin becoming evil because Padme wouldn't go to the prom with him.
The birth of Luke and Leia This is actually answered in a fairly satisfying way. Anakin strangles Padme (with the cool Vader touch we all know and love) and leaves her near death to fight Obi-Wan on the volcanic planet Mustafar. Anakin gets deep-fried, and Obi-Wan leaves with the injured Padme, who gives birth to the twins and promptly croaks. Palpatine finds Anakin horribly burned and legless and turns him into the more-machine-than-man Vader (answering the question of how Anakin grew at least a foot when he put on the Vader costume- new legs!). When Anakin asks for Padme, Palpatine tells him that Anakin kille her in her anger. Thus, there is no reason for Vader to look for his kids since he would believe that they died with her. Still not explained: why Obi-Wan would let Luke keep the surname Skywalker in hiding and why Vader couldn't sense that Leia was his daughter when standing right next to her. And small quibble: the first words spoken by Vader in the James Earl Jones Vader voice should be something a bit more eloquent than "Where's Padme?"
The formation of the Rebel Alliance How did the Alliance form? No idea. Lucas apparently didn't think it was important, or is holding out that information for the alleged television series. Something I read indicated that there were scenes filmed of Padme forming the Alliance, but I guess those will just have to wait for the DVD.
How Han and Chewie meet Again no idea. I guess we're lucky that Solo escaped the prequel treatment, but I'd still like to see that story.
What does Alderaan look like Yay! We saw Alderaan! For a whole 8 seconds!
In the end, my complaints about Sith are the same as the other two. Too heavy a reliance on special effects. Terrible casting for Anakin, terrible acting all around. Unnatural dialogue. Poor plotting. Lucas' need to come up with brand new species and planets that have never been seen before, instead of showing us the homeworlds of the aliens we already know (like Ackbar or the Bothans, many of whom will die to bring us information). My rating? Two glasses of Chateau Petrus, thrown in the face of the Lucas clone.
Oscar chances: Technical award nominations only. Special effects, sound editing etc. And I hope it gets its ass kicked in special effects by something else.
I wanted to like it. I wanted to be able to say that I was blown away...that the George Lucas I remember from my childhood had returned with a satisfying story about the creation of one of the greatest villians. Ever. I wanted to be able to tell everyone that the naysayers (myself included) were wrong and Georgie boy pullled it off at the last second. I wanted it to be good, dammit, to be worthy of carrying the title Star Wars
Now I'm just glad Lucas can't hurt me anymore.
The plot I'm sure you already know. With the Republic at war with the Separatist movement, Anakin Skywalker, now a full-fledged Jedi Knight, finds himself turning towards the Dark Side of the Force under the influence of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, thus becoming Darth Vader. You would think that with George Lucas saying for nearly 30 years that he had the whole story mapped out that the plot wouldn't be so disjointed. You would be wrong. The parts dealing with the war, with various Jedis fighting on various planets, are drawn out I susupect so Industrial Light and Magic can show off their CGI skills. But the parts dealing with Anakins descent are rushed, and his reasons for turning are forced, to say the least. The acting is again atrocious, except for Ewan MacGregor as Obi-Wan who clearly needs better material. The dialogue, painful. But since those flaws were present in the first two, it really isn't a surprise in the third one. The special effects are extraordinary again, at least from a technical standpoint. But what Lucas hasn't figured out is that special effects alone do not give life to a movie. Every ship, every planet, every alien being, everything is so pristine that it all becomes cold and flat.
But let's be real. For fans, the important thing about this movie is whether it answers the questions we all have. So let's explore those answers (SPOILER WARNING)
Anakin's descent The major question driving the prequels- how did Anakin become Darth Vader? Well, according to Lucas, he did it all for love. After having visions of Padme dying in childbirth, Anakin starts going down the path to the Dark Side so that he can learn the Sith ways of controlling life and death. Thrown in there for extra measure are Anakin's annoyance with the Jedi council for allowing him to sit on the council (at Palplatine's order) but not granting him the rank of Master. So is that a satisfying answer to the Vader question? Well, yes and no. I would be willing to believe that Anakin's descent was based on a fear of losing Padme if I believed the love story to begin with. Lucas clearly wants us to think that Anakin and Padme are one of the great tragic love stories of the ages, but Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman have zero chemistry and Lucas writes such wooden dialogue, that it's hard to buy their love would lead him to slaughter Jedis (and Jedi younglings- one of the only emotional scenes in the movie). The whole thing has roughly the same weight as Anakin becoming evil because Padme wouldn't go to the prom with him.
The birth of Luke and Leia This is actually answered in a fairly satisfying way. Anakin strangles Padme (with the cool Vader touch we all know and love) and leaves her near death to fight Obi-Wan on the volcanic planet Mustafar. Anakin gets deep-fried, and Obi-Wan leaves with the injured Padme, who gives birth to the twins and promptly croaks. Palpatine finds Anakin horribly burned and legless and turns him into the more-machine-than-man Vader (answering the question of how Anakin grew at least a foot when he put on the Vader costume- new legs!). When Anakin asks for Padme, Palpatine tells him that Anakin kille her in her anger. Thus, there is no reason for Vader to look for his kids since he would believe that they died with her. Still not explained: why Obi-Wan would let Luke keep the surname Skywalker in hiding and why Vader couldn't sense that Leia was his daughter when standing right next to her. And small quibble: the first words spoken by Vader in the James Earl Jones Vader voice should be something a bit more eloquent than "Where's Padme?"
The formation of the Rebel Alliance How did the Alliance form? No idea. Lucas apparently didn't think it was important, or is holding out that information for the alleged television series. Something I read indicated that there were scenes filmed of Padme forming the Alliance, but I guess those will just have to wait for the DVD.
How Han and Chewie meet Again no idea. I guess we're lucky that Solo escaped the prequel treatment, but I'd still like to see that story.
What does Alderaan look like Yay! We saw Alderaan! For a whole 8 seconds!
In the end, my complaints about Sith are the same as the other two. Too heavy a reliance on special effects. Terrible casting for Anakin, terrible acting all around. Unnatural dialogue. Poor plotting. Lucas' need to come up with brand new species and planets that have never been seen before, instead of showing us the homeworlds of the aliens we already know (like Ackbar or the Bothans, many of whom will die to bring us information). My rating? Two glasses of Chateau Petrus, thrown in the face of the Lucas clone.
Oscar chances: Technical award nominations only. Special effects, sound editing etc. And I hope it gets its ass kicked in special effects by something else.
posted by joopiter at 5/21/2005 10:20:00 AM
5 Comments:
Well, I think I have a contender for special effects: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. I got chills just watching the trailer, which was much better than the actual film, thank you very much.
I hate LucasClone.
You nailed it, my friend. As I lay in my bed last night trying to fall asleep, the brain kept turning it all over and I just got madder and madder. It was sooo not good or satisfying--that was the look we saw on people as they left, by the way. Obviously, not excitement about it being cool or fun, nor anger cause it sucked . . . just more like, "Yeah, I saw it. It's over. Whatever."
I'd just like to add a few thoughts:
1. They're called "special" effects --if you fill every inch of every frame over 2.5 hours with them, there's nothing "special" about them! So cold looking a film -- there wasn't a single "WOW!!!" moment effectwise. I can't believe this guy has the moxie to criticize Peter Jackson! PJ seemlessly mixes live actors, models, people in costumes and prosthetics AND special effects WHEN NEEDED, which gives his films a layer of warmth, charm and interest. Everything's not perfect --- Lucas should look back at his own original "Star Wars" at how to successfully blend these elements ... oh wait, he destroyed those films! B@st@rd!!!
2. The fact that he said he "forced" himself to write ROTS shows in every terrible line and wooden delivery. If this wasn't the hallowed Star Wars franchise, 99% of reviewers would've buried this film on those "merits" alone. Simply atrocious! The things that made the first films great were the CHARACTERS and their interaction, NOT THE ORGY OF EFFECTS!!! There was literally ONE fun/cool moment in the whole film, and I remember it distinctly because it's the only time in the entire 2.5 hours I heard the audience react or make a noise -- and that was when Yoda brushed aside two guards with a wave of his hand. Pathetic, it was.
3. Plot point probably not worth mentioning, but nonetheless annoying -- end of ROTS, Vader joins the Emporer and Tarkin on the bridge of a cruiser with the half-constructed death star off in the distance . . . hello?!! Does it take 18 years to finish that thing? Because it's only getting tested at the beginning of Star Wars 4, when Luke and Leia are grown up (more or less)! Must be space union labor or something -- and they work it out because it only take a year or two to rebuild it between episodes 4 & 6.
4. Quickly -- the whole technology thing is sooooo annoying. From what I can see, technology goes backward significantly during the emporer's reign as things they had during episodes 1-3 are far, far technically superior to what we see in 4-6. Or maybe CloneLucas is so enamored with his special effects orgy that he can't stop touching himself even if it defies what's in the later films!
5. If you think this is over, you're daft! I guarantee you at some point, maybe 5-10 years from now, he goes back to the well for the Han Solo story, to further destroy that character's charms . . . he'll probably even have Cletus Federline play the part ... gah!
Ray, I disagree only with number three. As someone who has lived in Washington, D.C., I can only say that you should NEVER doubt that a government project of that size could take 18 years. It was probably the most realistic detail in the whole movie. :)
Simon
So...the question is....
Do I buy it on pirated DVD or see it in theatres?
Depressing. Wishing Harry Potter book was out now.
Curses!
Elena: Oh, I can't wait to watch The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. Also Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Though not because of the special effects.
I wouldn't have watched this movie if it wasn't for Obi-Wan Kenobi. He is the only actor that can act. Well, him R2-D2 and Yoda. Yes, R2-D2 shows more emotion than Natalie Portman.
Nuray Torgu: I can't wait for it to come out either!
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