Joopiter's Highly Scientific List of People Who Are Currently Smoking Crack
It's Highly Scientific! So don't sue me!
1. The Network Executives at ABC for moving Alias into the timeslot of death (Thursdays at 8 pm), thus breaking up the highly successful J.J. Abrams Lost/Alias block on Wednesday night, in the mistaken belief that Alias will fare better against Survivor than it did against American Idol. Also, for believing that the proper lead-ins to their hit sci-fi/adventure/mystery/drama Lost are two sitcoms, one of which stars Freddie Prinze, Jr. Good thinking, guys. That's definitely the same audience.
2. The Fashion Industry for many, many reasons but in this case for its embellishment fetish. I'm talking about the bows and the lace and the hoops and the rivets and the beads. Oh, dear god, the beads.
3. The Pro-Abstinence Movement for actually coming out AGAINST a possible vaccine for HPV, the sexually transmitted disease that is present in 93% of cases of ovarian cancer, because it may cause women to engage in pre-marital sex. Let me say that again. They are against a possible CURE FOR CANCER because it may lead to women having sex before marriage. And they have the ear of the president. Greeeeat...
4. Lindsay Lohan for trying to convince the world that her breasts are real by losing so much weight they have disappeared. Yeah, that'll learn 'em, Lindsay.
1. The Network Executives at ABC for moving Alias into the timeslot of death (Thursdays at 8 pm), thus breaking up the highly successful J.J. Abrams Lost/Alias block on Wednesday night, in the mistaken belief that Alias will fare better against Survivor than it did against American Idol. Also, for believing that the proper lead-ins to their hit sci-fi/adventure/mystery/drama Lost are two sitcoms, one of which stars Freddie Prinze, Jr. Good thinking, guys. That's definitely the same audience.
2. The Fashion Industry for many, many reasons but in this case for its embellishment fetish. I'm talking about the bows and the lace and the hoops and the rivets and the beads. Oh, dear god, the beads.
3. The Pro-Abstinence Movement for actually coming out AGAINST a possible vaccine for HPV, the sexually transmitted disease that is present in 93% of cases of ovarian cancer, because it may cause women to engage in pre-marital sex. Let me say that again. They are against a possible CURE FOR CANCER because it may lead to women having sex before marriage. And they have the ear of the president. Greeeeat...
4. Lindsay Lohan for trying to convince the world that her breasts are real by losing so much weight they have disappeared. Yeah, that'll learn 'em, Lindsay.
posted by joopiter at 5/18/2005 05:58:00 PM
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