Dispatch from Live 8 - Philadelphia

Greetings, readers. All four of you. I'm coming to you live from Philadelphia, where one of the ten simultaneous Live 8 concerts is taking place. I'm currently in the best seat in the house. On the couch at my friend Emily's house. But we were there for a little while, in a vain effort to see Def Leppard. (We tried seeing them last night with Bryan Adams, but we got rained out.) Alas, it was not to be. Somewhere along the line, they changed the order of the lineup without telling anyone and we assumed the worst and left before the band came on. We did see Bon Jovi, Destiny's Child, Kanye West, Will Smith, Toby Keith, Dave Matthews Band, Alicia Keys, and Linkin Park. Well, we didn't actually "see" them. More like viewed them from our little staked out corner near a lamppost at a good angle to a Jumbotron. But we could sorta see the top of the page. Kind of. So basically, we could have stayed home with air conditioning and bathrooms and gotten a similar experience. Although I don't think I would have been hit in the head with a muddy beachball in Emily's living room, so you know, bonus.

So now here we are watching the telecast on VH1, who apparently thinks that it's more important to show their idiotic veejays, informative segments on the poverty in Africa, and commercials than actually showing any of the concerts. MTV? Same thing. For example, take this exchange

Idiotic Veejay 1: We're here LIVE in London, where the legendary Pink Floyd has reunited! It's historic!

Idiotic Veejay 2: Historic indeed! I can't tell you how excited the fans have been to FINALLY see Pink Floyd LIVE after all these years.

Meanwhile, waaaaaay in the background, volume turned down so we can here the Idiotic Commentary, the aforementioned historic reunion is taking place. Thanks VH1! It's not like any of us would actually want to see that or anything. (Okay, Simon... I know you don't want to see that)

It's a sad day when the most informative and entertaining source is AOL.